The first thing that I discuss with a client when we start a new coaching series is their mindset. Where it's at, where it needs to be to ensure they succeed and how we're going to get it there. What's holding them back from stepping out of their comfort zone, launching a blog, starting a business, cutting back on destructive habits, removing themselves from toxic environments and relationships or forgiving themselves for past mistakes. I am typically met with the same answer; Fear, (In it's many forms.) Fear of failure. Fear of judgement. Fear that they're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, young enough, old enough or competent enough to do the things they've always wanted to do or make the changes they know they NEED to make. That one word alone, is quite often the thing that holds the majority of us back from creating the life we've always wanted, the life that we are all quite capable of achieving.
I was inspired to write this post because I am absolutely floored by the amount of incredibly bright, beautiful, intelligent and badass women I speak to that don't see the unique gifts and talents that they possess. The best part of course, is the moment when they suddenly realize what they are quite capable of achieving and of course, that the only obstacle that's been holding them back is their own mindset.
So, in honour of my brave and beautiful clients who have been facing their fears head-on in pursuit of the life they've always wanted to live, I decided to write a little blog post about the power of shifting your mindset from ultimate failure to unstoppable badass, and more importantly - how to go about doing it.
I am going to start us off with a hypothetical situation. Imagine you have two friends and they are going on a vacation together to Europe. (We'll call them Geraldine and Wynona.) Geraldine and Wynona spend thirty days traveling to ten different countries, backpacking, exploring, sightseeing and staying in various hostels, meeting new people at every location. When they come back, you talk to them each on separate occasions. Geraldine had the time of her life. She met fascinating people and loved getting to know them and hearing their stories. She visited the most magnificent and breathtaking museums, had the most exquisite food (the croissants were slices of Nutella-filled heaven) and she adored learning about all of the different cultures at each stop. It sounded like the most perfect vacation. You speak to Wynona next when you're catching up over coffee and you're completely shocked to hear that she had an absolutely terrible time! The food was awful, European milk doesn't taste like real milk (and they serve it warm!) the people that shared rooms at the hostels were creepy and smelled as if they hadn't showered in months and she was completely disgusted by how dirty the streets were. It sounded like a trip from hell and sounded as though they had experienced two different vacations.
So what made the difference?
This example (most likely similar to many you've encountered in your own journey of life) demonstrates that your thoughts and beliefs dictate your reality. It is living proof that outer circumstances of your life aren't the only factors in determining your happiness. If the importance of external conditions outweighed the importance of the conditions of the mind, both Geraldine and Wynona would have had a miserable time in Europe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to change your reality, you have to change your beliefs. And the incredible thing is that everything you need to start creating that wildly impossible vision of yours (that's now suddenly a possibility if you decide it is), is available to you, right now. You just have to shift your perception in order to see it become a reality.
Want to learn how to do it? Keep reading for 4 simple tricks to help you shift your mindset from a life full of failure and defeat, to one full of unlimited possibility.
1. Create the Vision
I have so much fun doing this but then again, I am a self-proclaimed nerd. (Big time.) I recommend you get all crafty and treat yourself to an arts and crafts vision board night. Make it fun! Go out and buy some magazines (or go to a thrift store if you're worried about the cost of this - you can usually find magazines in the used book section) and select the ones with images of travelling, fitness, a loving family, incredible friendships, a freedom-based business from your laptop - whatever your inspiring vision looks like to you. Light some nice smelling candles, curl up cross-legged on the floor with a blanket and a cup of tea - maybe turn on some T-Swift if that tickles your fancy and start cutting! Glue all your pretty pictures to a cork board or just an inexpensive poster board paper from the dollar store. Make a fun night of it and when you're finished, put it up in your room somewhere where you can see it right before you go to bed and right when you wake up in the morning. Our minds think in images and when we feed it full of the things and experiences that we most want to achieve, they'll began to manifest themselves.
2. Act as if it's already a reality
This is kind of like the "fake it til you make it" idea. I was watching an interview with Oprah and Jim Carrey - if you have a few spare minutes it is totally worth checking out. When he was poor, Jim Carrey would drive his Toyota up to Mulholland Drive every night, looking at the city below and envisioning his future. He would visualize all of the things he wanted as if they were already in his possession. He wrote himself a cheque for $10 million for "acting services rendered" and dated it for a few years later. He kept it in his wallet and looked at the worn-down cheque every day and visualized himself in possession of the money and three years later, his tenacity paid off and he received the exact amount of that cheque, from one of his films. Now that's not to say you can just write yourself a cheque for $10 million and then spend the next year in your basement watching re-runs of Grey's Anatomy hoping your dream will manifest itself. You create the goal, visualize it and work your ass off every single day to achieve it.
3. Reframe your story
This one takes us back to Geraldine and Wynona's tale. You can go through life seeing the absolute worst in every situation, or you can go through life seeing each and every day as an opportunity and a gift. Two students can take the exact same acting class and be equally as gifted, but one has the grit and perseverance to commit every day of their life moving forward to make their dream a reality, while the other goes through the class doubting their abilities, thinking it's too difficult, believing they'll never get noticed or they don't have the connections that some of the other students have. You'll never succeed if you don't actually believe it or recognize the opportunities when you have them.
4. Reevaluate your surroundings
"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Take a good look at what kind of energy you're letting into your life. How are you spending your free time, and with whom? One of the areas I focus on with my clients is creating a more positive environment for themselves, one that allows them to flourish, feel uplifted and inspired. What type of people are you giving your invaluable time to? Do they lift you up or push you down? I know so many people (and was once one myself), who feel obligated to maintain friendships that do nothing for you. I will tell you a little secret that you may not agree with: No one deserves to be in your life! (That includes friends AND family members.) Each and every one of them has to earn that special spot in your life, just like you have to earn yours. It doesn't matter how optimistic, kind-hearted or compassionate you are, if you spend you time with individuals who are pessimistic, caddy and think the Universe is out to get them, you will inevitably sink to that level. It will be extremely difficult (if not impossible) to be the best version of yourself and maintain the positivity and optimism required to start creating the life you've always wanted.
Take some time this weekend to begin shifting your mindset, reevaluating your environment and give yourself the permission to ASK the Universe for what you most want. You'll be shocked at how how quickly things could start falling into place if you're willing to work for them.
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